F – false
E – evidence
A – appearing
R – real
It’s startling to think of how much fear is the basis for everything in this world. I mean think about it. We have fear of intimacy, fear of terrorism, fear of success, fear of failure. The driver with road rage is either afraid he won’t make his appointment on time or he’s afraid of looking weak. The murderer kills because he’s afraid of what will come out if the victim lives or he’s afraid of looking weak. The ironic thing is that fear is the very thing that makes us weak. A woman throws herself at every man she can because she’s afraid she isn’t attractive or afraid she has nothing of value to offer. We live and die, make huge life decisions derived from a bottom line of fear.
So I looked up the word FEAR for a solid definition. Webster’s New World dictionary says the following:
1. a feeling of anxiety and agitation cause by the presence or nearness of danger, evil, pain, etc. 2. respectful dread, awe; reverence. 3. a feeling of uneasiness or apprehension; concern.
It’s interesting to think on these things from a detached point of view. When I think back on my younger years and realize how many mistakes I made based solely on the idea of fear it becomes abundantly clear to me. I didn’t have children because I was afraid on very many levels for very many reasons. I married because I was afraid I wasn’t worthy of better. Oh sure, I loved the guy but my choice to marry, if I’m being honest with myself, wasn’t for love…it was for fear of losing.
Now I’ve learned that life isn’t something to be afraid of if you’re telling the truth and walking your talk. It’s okay to be late for an appointment. It’s okay to be weak. It’s okay to live and die fearlessly. In fact, if we live as though there were nothing to be afraid of then we are living fully and willfully. How cool is that idea? How cool it is to know that no matter what questions we ask or how many times we ask them we don’t have to be afraid…as long as the questions are coming from a place of honesty and truth. No hidden agenda. No secret identity. We can be who we are.
Can you imagine how wonderful it would be if people could simply relax, let themselves live without concentrating so much on what might or might not be? Letting go of all the anxiety is so empowering. I’ve seen it for myself in my own day to day living. Who cares if I’m attractive enough? If someone doesn’t like the way I look they don’t have to hang around me. Who cares if my house is the cleanest? In a hundred years who will be around to talk about it? So what if I don’t win a singing competition? There will be someone who wants to hear my song, even if it’s just the trees and dogs and birds and lizards.
This is one of the big things I’ve learned over the last two years. I’m not here to agree with you. I’m not afraid if we disagree. I’m not here for my reputation or yours. I’m here to tell my truth. I’m here to walk my talk. I’m here to teach. I’m here to learn. Where ever that leads me I will not be afraid. False evidence will never appear real to me. It’s all a part of the journey and even death doesn’t scare me. This is what makes me free.
Try it. I bet you like it.
Monday, March 29, 2010
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